Can Crutches Become Cool?


“Crutches! I hate crutches! They’re ugly and I hate them!”

Sorry if this is repetitive on the injury thing, but I couldn’t pass this up. My friend Jake said this very passionately when I asked him what he thought was ugly and why, and I can’t say I blame him. After a gnarly snowboarding crash over winter break, Jake’s leg has been in a brace and he is sporting a nifty pair of crutches. But he’d rather be without.


How Do I Loath Thee? Let Me Count The Ways…

I can easily see how crutches, which are supposed to make your life easier during your recovery, can make your life hell. Steep hills, stairs, getting up, sitting down, and oh yeah, walking are now intense challenges worthy of a sliver medal. I personally have never had crutches, but even seeing my friends hobble around makes me cringe. I rely on my independence and I wouldn’t be able to function without being able to go to practice, without being able to be mobile. That would be more painful than the injury itself. Kudos to you, Jake, and all y’all other crutch-users for having such patience.

Crutches are kinda like the annoying internet quotes about hope and love and other things that the internet falsifies. Both crutches and annoying quotes are helpful: but only when you really, truly, absolutely need them. Other wise, we don’t want to see them people.


Again, We don’ t need this BS right now, OK? Say something real. Something true. Something no one else knows.

But as much hate mail as they must get, crutches deserve some, if a very small amount, of appreciation. Jake, imagine your life right now without crutches. Imagine having to hop up and down the hill to the MAD Academy everyday. Not a pretty sight is it? See, aren’t you glad you have those wonderful crutches?

Don’t forget the glitter. -iamtheseventies.


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