Tag Archives: batman

10 Reasons to Love Batman. (Incase you were on the fence)

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So I, being only biologically human, am growing impatient with always writing about ugly things. I know the whole purpose is to show you dear readers that these things are actually beautiful, but today I’m going to show you something beautiful. (Okay, maybe beautiful is a stretch, but can we all just agree that Batman is pretty rad?)

Here are 10 legitimate reasons to love Batman.

10) Franchise evolved positively

From Robin having (unfortunately) skin colored tights and the confusing mask Adam West sported to the menacing look and behavior that we associate with Christian Bale’s Batman , I’d say we’ve come a long way. Other improvements include the evolution of the Bat-mobile as well as the Bat-suit. Speaking of which…

"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me." http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120113035139/batman/images/6/6b/DK-0113.jpg

“It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.”
http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120113035139/batman/images/6/6b/DK-0113.jpg

9) The nipples on the Bat-suit.

Some try to ignore it, some try to embrace it, but no one can deny it.

8) Best Villans

Batman has encountered some of the most prime villains ever seen on the silver screen or the colored pages of a comic book.  My favorites include (but are not limited to) Bane, Dr. Hurt, The Riddler, The General, and (of course) The Joker.

7) Realistically Futuristic

No matter when you are experiencing Batman, the story always takes place a couple years in the future. We can’t accept that this COULD be happening now, but, I mean, it sort of is. Biology altering chemicals, mutated animals, corruption, they’re all here, happening now. The best and worst part of Batman is how plausible it is. No one can ever imagine getting saved by an alien from Krypton, but a billionaire philanthropist turned dark knight? Plausible.

6) Works alone, but acknowledges when he needs outside help.

When we think of people that we know that come off as strong, intimidating, or fearless, we think of detachment, brawn, and isolation. While Batman is certainly brawny (you can say that again), he isn’t as detached or isolated as he’d like to be. He tries to accept the death of his friends and family, but he can’t. He is only human, after all. Remember when I said that even Batman cries? Well he does. And he’s friggin’ Batman. But not really. He’s actually Bruce Wayne. (Spoiler alert). But in his adventures and close calls, he’s always got Robin and Gordon looking out for him. And Alfred. So even Batman isn’t afraid to swallow his pride and ask for help. (Sometimes)

5) The Bat-mobile

Need I say anymore? I know I mentioned it earlier as having evolved positively with the franchise, which it certainly has, but it was always pretty awesome.

4) Bruce Wayne

A billionaire orphan who spends his money buying hotels and his time as Gotham’s worst vigilante. Can it get better than that?

3) He’s an underdog

Yeah, against the average crook he’s got some advantages, but against his more worthy opponents, he’s usually a few steps behind. Whether it’s Bane’s sheer strength or Ivy’s vine-strangling-power or Mister Freeze’s ice-cold personality, most of his enemies have advantages. Or they’re, you know, crocodiles. That happened.

2) His cape actually has a purpose.

Batman’s cape has been engineered to help him fly, you know, like a bat. I think this is important to note since other superheroes like Superman and Thor have unnecessary capes.  They can both fly on there own, so what’s with the cape? Which brings me to number 1.

1) Batman doesn’t actually have any superpowers.

This makes him more accessible to us other humans. We can relate to him. We can hope (desperately) for him to be real. Sure, we could say the same thing about Spiderman, but then we’d have to wait for a spider with mutating venom to be discovered.

So there’s 10 legitimate reasons to love Batman, incase you were on the fence. He’s pretty spectacular.

Bruce, don’t forget the glitter. -iamtheseventies.

PS

There are several places called Gotham, and while there is no Gotham City, there is a place in Wisconsin called Gotham and they have a Bat Cave restaurant. Bucket List? Check.

 

 

Why It Shouldn’t Matter That Christian Bale Was Married By Elvis (but it does)

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I recently learned that Christian Bale and then girlfriend Sibi Blazic eloped in 200o and were married in none other than Las Vegas, Nevada by none other than Elvis Presley himself. (ok it was impersonator, but that’s almost worse.) The two have been happily married for 14 years, have one child, and are expecting their second. So if they’re so happy, why am I still hung upon this?!

Still in love

Still in love Source

 

I don’t know why, but I felt let down by this knowledge. I’d always imagined the Bales having a nice small wedding, very modest and humble, somewhere remote but nice. Maybe Brazil. Not running away to Vegas and getting married by an ELVIS IMPERSONATOR. It just seems so…. trashy? Lame? Un-romantic? It feels like something Katy Perry would do. Not Cristian flippin’ Bale. It felt less than perfect. But then I’d stop and think to myself: why do I even care?

Veags with a happy ending Source

Vegas with a happy ending
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The truth is it matter because he matters. I don’t actually know that much about Christian Bale. I know some random facts, like that he was married in Vegas, but I don’t know what kind of person he is. I don’t know if he’s nice, or naïve.  I don’t know if he’s considerate or condescending. And, in truth, I don’t really want to know. The reason he means so much to me is because some (SOME) of his characters mean so much to me. He’s been n movies that have completely reformed my brain. Some of the movies he’s been in mean more to me than he could possibly know. So my selfish, entitled teenage heart was broken when I realized that Christian Bale didn’t have the wedding my twisted mind dreamt up.

Newly Weds Source

Newly Weds
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But he’s been married to the same woman for 14 years, and they’re expecting their second child, so I mean, I guess he’s happy. And does it really matter if he got married in Vegas? No. If that’s what he wanted then that’s what he should do. We love to criticize and judge other people’s actions, but what would we have done in their shoes? A whirlwind marriage does have a sort or allure. And c’mon, Elvis? That’s not so bad. It’s better than some cranky priest. Besides, Christian Bale makes a lot of movies. He’s never shied away from something that was too tough or too challenging. I respect him. I adore his films. I don’t know where I would be without Jack “Cowboy” Kelly. So I should respect his choices. I know that in my life, I’ll make some choices that my mom will say “Don’t you ever,” to, and I know that I wouldn’t want people who look up to me saying “What the hell, man?” I’d want them to either say “Right on sister!” or get out of the way. There’s enough anger and disappointment in this world to add any more to.

Don’t forget the glitter- iamtheseventies.

NEVER EVER LOSE

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NEVER EVER LOSE

“Losing is ugly. No, losing to yourselves is ugly.”

This was all that I could think of after my game today. We lost, and it was ugly. It started ugly, went through a whole hell of ugly, and we crash landed at the rancid feet of ugly. There wasn’t a single person on my squad who wasn’t biting their tongue, wasn’t tense, and wasn’t responsible.

After the very first inning, I came into the dug out and lost it. I was pissed, scared, frustrated, and most of all disappointed. I lost my head and I needed to calm down, breathe, and take responsibility. It wasn’t my place to get angry and if my team hadn’t had my back, I would have gone into the second inning still pissed and would have played even worse than I did (which was still pretty bad). I came in close to tears and immediately had a teammate on my ass telling me to get out of it. She got my head back in the right place, but I was still pissed. Four other team mates asked me if I was ok, then proceeded to (figuratively) smack me back into the game. I counted to ten, took some deep breaths, and quit playing selfish ball. They were right. Yes, I made severe errors, but I had to make up for it and I had to be strong for them, for the team, for my team. My squad.

But now that that’s out of my system, I went back and mentally reviewed the game and our situation as a whole. Biologically, we are designed to be the underdogs. We’re teenage girls. We need stickers on our foreheads that read: Caution! Contains Raging Hormones! Our brains are nowhere near fully developed. We’re just trying to make the transition from awkward teenager to mature young woman smoothly. Yes, we dwell on things, yes we overthink EVERYTHING, yes we have other things going on, yes we are a BIOLOGICALLY ENGINERED HOT MESS.  No we don’t have to let today set the pace for the rest of the season. One of my coaches was painfully disappointed. But so were we. We can’t change who other people are or how they react to things, we can only control how we handle situations.

It’s not losing that’s ugly, it’s the disappointment and the dwelling on it and the not getting over it that’s ugly. We can play a damn good game and lose. That isn’t an ugly loss. Today was an ugly loss. The only thing we can do is to move on. We acted the way we did because we cared, because we got hurt, because we ARE a family. On any other team, I doubt anyone would have cared as much. If we hadn’t gotten angry over that loss, it would have meant we didn’t care. I’d rather have a coach who gets animated over a loss than not cares any day. And if we hadn’t gotten angry, frustrated, pissed, if we didn’t cry then we didn’t play with heart. Yeah we could have played with heart and played better. Losses like this prove that we do care, and that should motivate us to shape up. Look, today happened. (Take a deep breath). I love you guys. Tomorrow’s another day, another chance to get it right. Hey, why do we fall?

So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.

(Dedicated to Santa Barbara Dons Softball Varsity Squad, 2013-14)

Don’t forget the glitter- iamtheseventies.